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A perplexed thought

Each day brings forth new realities of this world to surface for me , the ugliness the beauty the fake people, the strong people……all slowly but sure! And then its the month of Ramadan when I come to learn the most.. This applies to almost everyone out there during these Holy days, sometimes we come to learn from others sometimes others come to learn from us and so on..but sometimes it happens that I am left utterly speechless and nothing but in an absolute abyss of confusion where I begin hating myself for the height of their faith and lack of my own and for the love of this nafs..

Im sorry but I could not stay without pointing out the deed I saw, a  notion that have been harbouring in me and killing me from inside bringing forth a very basic giant of a question..

Is  racing on reading and then the completion of Holy Book of Lord in this month ,something of a yardstick to prove to others that they are the holiest of people this year  or  this is really the true worship and I have been doing it all wrong…? I go in high doubt at my own relation my own respect for Him when I cannot fathom this… maybe am not good and they are.

Racing.

or maybe am bad and they aren’t.

Racing.

Such a perplexed thought.

  • Didn’t you get the memo? Religion is no longer a personal thing. What you and your God have must be broadcasted to the entire world 😀

    • lol no. nobody handed me that memo. Thank u for informing.

      • People are so self obsessed and proud now a days

        • People are many things Devil. Many things. That’s just one side of them we know sometimes.

          • True I guess but sometimes they are not the things we expect them to be

          • I know. That’s our fault then. Why we expected in the first place. We must murder that feeling.

          • If only we could be the masters of our emotions… If only

          • that’s another intriguing n perplexing notion.. buh i guess its possible… I dunno.. buh maybe

          • If you find a way do tell me

          • its not a secret to tell, Devil
            It’s a journey we make..and He makes us travel that road solo. That’s a wisdom i guess

          • yea i guess

        • why bother assuming much of other people’s hearts?

  • it confuses and perplexes me too.
    some just put up too much of a show of how religious they are.
    but what really counts is what is in your heart … 🙂
    Do one little deed in the name of Allah and that will be more worthy than racing to finish the Quran just for the sake of showing off one’s piousness.

    • sometimes I can’t decide is it really a show or they jus tryin to teach us. I for one begin to hate myself on this. I start with a depression. Utter depression. They after all pose a great question mark on our love for Him…

  • While nobody should be in an all out race and actually showing off. We are not here to judge other’s intentions as such. Don’t compare yourself to others. Your relation with Allah (swt) is still yours, regardless of what others do or do not do, say or do not say.

    • you’re right but you didnt get my dilemma right. My fingers are pointed at my own self here. I am a critique an enemy of my own. When they are doing so much hardwork I for one begin to question myself. I feel am a nothing but dirt in this world of saints..
      Thank you for ur comment.

      • I did get that part, that is why I was saying to not compare yourself to others. besides if you are dirt.. then what am I?

        • That’s your part to consider : ) and the cycle for people like us – dirts – goes on n on n on….. buh m sure ure alot better than me..

          and its not comparison my dear ..its just.. ah.. can’t explain

          • I think I can relate to the general feeling. Just don’t go assuming too much. we all get surprised sooner or later, by others, by ourselves. Is that not part of the process of living?

          • maybe others don bother much, its the “I” that we must hunt down and kill for good.

            Dunno. I am assuming nothing and everything. and I end up hating nothing but “me”. so no harm on others.

          • harming yourself in such a way seeps out and infects others.. whether we like to admit it or not. ..sigh..

          • thats interesting.. How?

  • well inevitably whatever we are feeding (or are fed) into ourselves stirs and mixes. Even the best laid plot to keep it all in will fail. the hurt comes out in quips, in words, in actions, in those glares of “oh please go in a corner and die”. perhaps some people have a better immunity than others, but a semi-perceptive person should become at minimal aware of your state.

    • I hope it wont. When ure so busy cursing urself, u dnt get time or gv a damn to curse others.. Its you alone then, and He is ur witness

      • Its not about actively cursing someone else. When you are so miserable toward yourself it shows in your personality is what I was trying to get at. It seeps out unintentionally.