Have you ever tried to paint something disturbing? And actually felt quite good about it..
There has been murder and mayhem in my painting.
Those of you who have been following me ardently on instagram know me as as someone who recently discovered the wonderful world of art. And ever since I picked up paint brushes, you all have seen me paint flowers and pretty landscapes only.
Two nights ago, there was a dramatic change. I painted my first proper oil painting for myself, and I diverted from the usual flowers to paint a human organ.
In a bowl.
Served with an apple.
On a table.
By the flower vase.
Sweet settings, sweet colors but in reality when you think about it, there is nothing sweet about it at all.
I have already explained on instagram how horrified my family was to see it.
I am very grateful for their horrors.
How did it comfort me?
Usually when I paint flowers, I ask everyone at home how do they look. But this time, I was filled with so much calm and certainty about how I felt while painting it, that I just… reveled in its disturbing beauty and personal meaning for me. I am sure it resonates with many. This is the first time, I noticed that I have accepted my art without needing another’s acceptance. This is also an indication I have transitioned from painting impressions to expressionism. Or perhaps surrealism. Is it? I should learn and discover more.
Art is beautiful, in every form. And it may sound funny, or odd, but I think now that perhaps artists paint to test people’s wit and reflective state of mind. Their IQ, their depth. Art is not there to amuse you or present to you a piece of decoration for the wall. It is there to test you. Our growth depends upon it, Just like other subjects of knowledge out there. So much to learn, with so many meanings to discover. So many.
“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” ― Pablo Picasso
Do you like to paint in your mind but never had the talent to stroke the brush on canvas for real? I’ve never been talented at painting or drawing straight lines. Where my mum and uncle are famous for their artistic mind in the family. Am more loved as a creative person, doing this, photographing that! But recently, I started taking interest in doodling as a self help therapy. I felt am able to express myself and my moods through the bizarre pieces I create. Its not like calligraphy at all. Where calligraphy demands from me the neatness, I feel quite free in doodling and painting anything with regular weatercolors. But here’s the thing. My mum still fears that I am going to ruin the canvas with my inconsistency and childish art. So I decided to give up the paper all together and picked up the tablet for some android painting. The applications are free and quite easy. And some of them allow me to playback my creation step by step. Here’s what I made few weeks ago.
This image at first glance reminds of a peacock. There was this chinese tale book of a peacock I had as a child and the book contained some of the most beautiful illustrations. Although I had flowers in my mind when I drew this, but now it looks like a piece of peacock to me. I like the way the vibrant colors are settled on the soft water like shade.
Thats Eiffel Tower there. When am in a very rainy and good mood, I draw this. This time though, I felt like I have drawn Minar e Pakistan instead.
And this is something my mum really understood even when I couldn’t. I showed her this so she can laugh but it turned out, this image of the heart amid chaos got approved by her as my way of expressing, I am feeling like this!
I would encourage you all to install some painting apps and go ahead. Draw. Sometimes creating something childish gives this feeling of being heard when something inside of you is screaming to come out. Or when you are happily free and have nothing to do.