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Dear God

I think  childhood habits and your early days people impact you big time and mold you and make you who you are. I was born a compassionate kid – then naturally people around me molded me into  a compassionate lover.

The first lesson learnt was  – learn to compromise with —– ! with many things including relations!

Don’t be  just nice with friends at school . Be a super cute doll. Just give what they ask. Your colors pencils are made of wood not ego.

Be brave. The teacher wont bite you.

Be strong – The boys wont hit u at break time then. And the list just kept growing louder n louder n on and on.

I don’t mind anything of it But the one lesson I regret learning the most is the product of my affections for my younger cousin brother. Basit.

Whenever we got anything together. whether a toy or a piece of bread – he would compare it with mine , measure the size , look for the bigger portion and if  seen the greater thing in my hands or plate. Just one minute of tantrum and tears , and I would be forced to give up my share. The lesson to always have lesser for myself began to grow in my head and manners.

It became a habit of mine to show courtesy – even on bigger things at life.

I am to certain extent stubborn but my stubbornness doesn’t mess anyone’s existence. It revolves around mine. But  the habit mentioned above is so intense in me now that even in small things I deal with everyday – I end up somehow just end up practicising it.

You dont eat anything first – you wait for ur turn so that people or friends dont think u got the bigger portion.

You  pray for urself in the last so that Allah doesn’t think you are being selfish.

All this  good and rewarding from Allah’s side. But do people digest it proper ?

Dear God !

I am saying this again ..

living in this world is so hard –   when one is so sincere with your other created humans…

friends – family – loved ones .. ! one by one they begin to change and turn u black n blue..

Shouldn’t they be thankful for sincerity and return some comfort and be humane for ur and only Ur sake Alone Allah?

We may  try to be strong and put on a big “I don’t care” face but you know Allah – we are humans  after all. I for one – begin to loose hope in this world of yours.. and I begin to wish to sleep for long long time until I am met with you

I am tired Allah

I really am…

please don’t let anyone betray me in any way

Make me compromise at times but don’t let them bend me and break apart!

Having less is no sadness Allah – it should be just blessed and blessed more. All of the other things are then automatically compensated if we have sincere people around.

And if people begin to betray –  dodge – change.  It’s a trouble then on this heart Allah.

And then I begin to wonder – Meeting with you  is surely thousand times better than staying here. I should be with You.

———-

I Love you Allah , please love me too. Love me enough where others forget to  love me so…