Have you ever tried to paint something disturbing? And actually felt quite good about it..
There has been murder and mayhem in my painting.
Those of you who have been following me ardently on instagram know me as as someone who recently discovered the wonderful world of art. And ever since I picked up paint brushes, you all have seen me paint flowers and pretty landscapes only.
Two nights ago, there was a dramatic change. I painted my first proper oil painting for myself, and I diverted from the usual flowers to paint a human organ.
A heart in a bowl, served with an apple, on a table by the flower vase.
Sweet settings, sweet colors but in reality when you think about it, there is nothing sweet about it at all.
I have already explained on instagram how horrified my family was to see it.
I am very grateful for their horrors.
How did it comfort me?
Usually when I paint flowers, I ask everyone at home how do they look. But this time, I was filled with so much calm and certainty about how I felt while painting it, that I just… reveled in its disturbing beauty and personal meaning for me. I am sure it resonates with many. This is the first time, I noticed that I have accepted my art without needing another’s acceptance. This is also an indication I have transitioned from painting impressions to expressionism. Or perhaps symbolism. Is it? I should learn and discover more.
Art is beautiful, in every form. And it may sound funny, or odd, but I think now that perhaps artists paint to test people’s wit and reflective state of mind. Their IQ, their depth. Art is not there to amuse you or present to you a piece of decoration for the wall. It is there to test you. Our growth depends upon it, Just like other subjects of knowledge out there. So much to learn, with so many meanings to discover. So many.