Does the goddess of Venus wear heels to be considered beautiful ? Do our feet have personalities, or a mind of their own?
2 days ago, I had to go somewhere and meet someone formally. After getting dressed for the occasion, I desperately looked for my sneakers that my family had apparently hidden somewhere.
They find it ridiculous that I wear them anywhere and ignore the heels. One of my friends, also forbade me to wear my sneakers that day no matter how adorable they looked.
Unsure and confused, I obediently slipped my feet into the shoes they picked for me. My feet looked nice. Fragile. I won’t mind admitting that I felt pretty, too. Quite pretty but something was missing.
My Confidence in walking. I felt like am walking on eggshells.
My love for sneakers, and flat shoes has been a subject of discussion at home since ages now. Among my friends, as well. I do wear heels sometimes, but they simply cannot fathom my concept of attachment with sneakers, and the comfort I find in wearing it instead of heels. It’s my belief (philosophical one and utterly childish) that every part of our body, has a mind of its own. And so do our feet. At least my feet. They find comfort in sneakers, and heels give them (not the feeling of nakedness) but vulnerability. Vulnerability towards the external mental threats. It’s not hard to understand where I am going with this, but to make it more easy I have jotted down my 3 supreme reasons to wear sneakers.
1. Sneakers make me feel smart and brainy!
To be admired for my brain and not for my legs, is what I prefer more. Of course every girl likes to know she’s beautiful and all, I like that too, but the acknowledgement of my good thoughts is what fills me with genuine assurance rather than the usual complimenting of the skin, that yes, I am something. Especially, When I know that I am going to be tested for my knowledge. For instance, back at the University, Whenever I had presentation, or the occasion called for a debate and defense of the thesis, or anything like that. I always made sure I am wearing my sneakers. They helped me to be confident and acted like buffer between me and the eyes watching me, questioning me and waiting for the moment to pounce on me and crush my existence. And whenever I failed to wear my comfortable shoes, I always ruined things.
2. They make me feel like a warrior
Back in the school , when I was in class 2. I had once picked up a funny fight with a group of boys who used to bully some girl I didn’t even know personally. The fight didn’t end well. I ended up being locked up in the store room of the school. Then to punish me further they extended the bully period on me. It was hilarious and horrible at the same time. I don’t remember crying at that , but it left a mark on my memory. As I grew up, I had good terms with the boys at my new school. I had gotten strong. Lots of damage happen to us when we are growing old. The school pressure, the family pressures, the friendships and crushed hopes. Alot happens and either it makes us or breaks us. A lot of might have broken me, but What made me stand firm were my sneakers. It made me hold onto the ground. The more I wore them the more I realized I can run faster, I can walk faster. I can save myself like a man. Because really, have you ever seen anyone climbing up the mountain or going to a war wearing heels?
3- I wear sneakers, to hide my nervousness. We are bestfriends
We all have anxieties. Fears. Imagined fears, most of the times. And then we all have our own designed fire exists for them, too. My fire exit, is wearing the comfortable shoes so I can feel the energy of the ground, place my feet rightly one after another and walk without losing my balance. For me, that’s grace.
In the movie, maid in Manhattan, The main actor of the film was a politician and he had this trick to defeat his tension during his speeches. He would hold onto this paper clip in his palm and press it tightly to release his nervousness. And nobody on the outside would even know how nervous he actually is from the inside. I used to do the same during my presentations. The shoes gave me roots, deep roots into the earth and vibrating energy. And the paper clip trick gave me the chance to let out my fears. I would roll a piece of paper, hold it in the hand and while presenting my subject in front of the teachers and the whole class, I would keep crushing it in my hands.
To them, it was invisible as they were more focused on my confident speech. The wrecking of the paper in my hand had taken away their mind off my anxiety. It had taken away my mind away from it, too. And tricked me into behaving strong and smart mouth.
I still apply this trick at different events, of wearing flat shoes or sneakers. They save me. They give me this cognitive relief that I can do this. Though I am now able to walk in heels too, without falling down. I feel a certain amount of power in them too now. But I have noticed that wearing heels make me transform into this girl who is too fragile and shy to even walk. And you know, to be shy is okay. To be fragile is not an error and am not ashamed of it. But showing it to others, is what makes me uncomfortable sometimes…And you know what I do then ? I wait desperately to get home if am outside and the heels are hurting me. The moment I get in, I take them off, and start walking bare foot on the ground.
Its my way of feeling the energy of the earth and have it flowing through me again. That’s when my feet feel pretty the most. I feel like I can set the world on fire!
I’m sure you all have some clothes or shoes that make you feel safe, too. Hold onto them. Even if nobody understands it. Hold onto them. I know it’s sad to be judged on what we treasure, on our weak points and the strong points, but its okay. Have faith. If anybody loves you truly, they’ll see you have a point in feeling the way you feel and would love you nonetheless. Then maybe Their love would help you fight your own fears. And then they’ll be the ones, worth changing for.