I started out this blog, as a writer. I used to share my thoughts and feel like I have a mind that actually has some meaning. This is what writing gifts you I guess, It gives you this peace of mind and value to your life. But lately, My blog became more about what people want. It became somewhat commercialized. But it doesn’t mean my mind stopped thinking. In fact, I have been thinking about alot of things lately and sadly I have been unable to speak about it with anyone.
It happens. Your soul becomes obsessed with some subject and you find your tongue and hands tied up. Neither can you speak of it with anyone, nor do you feel like typing it down. It’s a discussion in your mind, going on 24/7. My dilemma is simple. One worry that heavily wrinkles me is the inevitable damage we do to our souls, by being typical humans. And to have the solution for that, I can’t help myself but think about some fundamental concepts such as Time. The same time that we waste.
The discussion in my mind goes like this …
I’m a prisoner! What’s imprisoning me? Time! Time is a prison? How to break this prison. Can we break this prison? Why gravity! Why gravity with time? Is there a relation? Can we break this relation? How do I win time? Is time our nemesis? Can I win time? Is mortal life conditioned by time? And time conditioned by gravity?
How did Meeraj happen! Why did it happen? Wait. If Time’s a prison, then did he (pbuh) break this prison to ascend to the heavens? Does this mean humans are capable of breaking time prison? So there’s a loophole? No, there can’t be a loophole.Everything’s perfect in His design. So it’s in God’s hands to allow a person to escape this prison for awhile and get back. It still means there’s a way. Is there a way? A way to break time-prison? Is it a secret? Who can tell me this secret?
Where do dreams stand in this? Is time travel possible? No. Yes. Yes, but really no. There would still be a past and a future. Is there a Time travel without the conditions of past and future! So what was it, that he PBUH did?He did time travel from this realm to another?! How? Inertia in time? Are there different rules for time and gravity in different realms? Or maybe its just the soul that time travels!!!!
Oh! what about our bodies then? Body is a burden! Is our imprisonment also conditioned by this burden? Is heaven an answer to end the prison of time? Then end of times is actually end of prison? End of gravity? So to be really free I have to stay in this prison first? Under spell of Gravity? Would heaven be having gravity? What?! Wait, so gravity doesn’t correlate with time after all?
The train of thoughts in my head never stops. And it grew more louder and faster as I started learning a new language. The “doer status” is always subjected to different dimensions of time: Present, Past & Future. His actions are like deadlocked by these three levels. Never an escape. And the rules are strict for each one of them.
Life in this vast Universe is a very small happening. At least, my life is. Yet, despite of its smallness, the trivia it carries is very hard to fathom by us. And it’s wonderful to know How much importance is given to our trivia, to our lives by God. Doesn’t that make our small lives , somewhat a big deal to Him?
I want to understand this complexity. For my own sake. Because I want to get out of this prison safely. Without much damage to my soul.
Sometimes, I ask myself, What’s so complicated about it, Pervisha? It doesn’t have to be this way. You are born to die, meaning: you already have a pattern to follow. You come from point A. You just have to walk the straight line to point B. Don’t look anywhere where there is trouble. Don’t get involved in trouble and don’t speak of trouble, Just walk the straight line to point B. And if you’re given a long life then sure, go ahead and reach point C and on. From there, D is the end for you. D is the death. What’s so complicated about it? And then I laugh at myself. Sure! What’s so complicated?! I’ll tell you. The fact that your life line from A to D is a very complicated line. It’s never straight. Because Time doesn’t know inertia! There are forces at work all the time in “time”. This life line , It’s meant to be a twisted path and in between the point from A to D, we all make choices, regrets, mistakes and gather bad deeds.
I just want to find a way to run smooth on this line. And when I can’t, I think about the men who were able to walk it straight. Where are such men now a days and why can’t we do it their way? If their lives were so unique and we have the excuse of being “ordinary humans and not prophets” then why are we given their example to follow in the first place? It doesn’t make sense. I believe there’s a serious point that we all are missing.
… And I want to figure out that point.