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Just another observation: The way men stare

Are men weird. Or only men with customized beards are weird. OR why some men keep sunnah beards in the first place if they can’t take care of their sunnah values? These were the billion dollar questions which me and my cousin brother discussed on my way to work. 

Let me rewind the reel for you, to make you familiar with what happened today.

I woke up late as usual, to go for the teaching thing I do thrice a week. What made things worse, was the fact that my cousin brother woke up at the same time for his university and he was also running late.

 GET UP GET UP! HURRY UP! I WOULDN’T DROP YOU OFF TO YOUR WORKPLACE IF YOU WASTE EVEN A MINUTE NOW! He shouted at the top of his voice and ran to take shower. I also ran towards my closet and picked out my dress. Then he came out and I went in. To sum it all up, after like 20 minutes, we both were still at home, running here and there frantically, fighting over breakfast, looking for my shoes, and basically, just acting like idiots for being late. That’s how we usually start off our day. Yup! Sweet.

Anyway, without wanting to waste more time, I reached the main gate, and was taking up my scarf when I noticed a man with beard coming towards us on his bike. I mentally calculated that he was still far and I had plenty of seconds to adjust my scarf properly. So i quickly did that, and Once done, I sat at the back of my cousin brother’s bike, and we were on our way. But wait.

Just wait. 

There’s more to it. This is where the sweetest thing happens and boils our minds to the heights of Nanga Parbat.

The same man, who I thought to be a good man, respected man, “I-mind-my-own-business” man, passed by us in such a strange manner that we both could not help but pity the condition of most men today who insult their own beards and our faith.

He slowed down his bike when he was passing by us and not only that, he did this in order to get a good look at me, stare at me from head to toe and BRAVO to his courage that he actually had the audacity to look me in the eye and watch me notice his actions. 

Observing this behavior from Mr. Stranger, my cousin brother and I commented at the same time, “Did you just see that?”

“Yeah. I saw. What makes it worse is he’s having a sunnah beard.”

“Yeah! That’s why I couldn’t expect this from him.”

“Me, too!” And then all the way, we just talked about this man and men like him. 

My point here is very simple. There’s no rocket science involved. What is the purpose of keeping a measured beard to match the style of the Prophets, if you aren’t a well mannered man in heart and you are checking me out like that ? What signals are you trying to send ? Who are you in fact? 

Its not that if he didn’t have beard, I wouldn’t have minded it. No. it’s not about that. I would have still voiced my mind that it’s wrong behaviour but what pains me more on a spiritual level is the ridiculous behavior of those particular men who keep sunnah beard just to show off religion. Its simple sad. What’s personal is personal. If that man smokes or no, it would be his personal choice and we have no right to judge anybody there. But if your actions are outwards and are affecting others, then ofcourse, you would be talked about.

Its way sad because such men I believe, when they are stepping up and keeping beards, trying best to embrace every Muslim label, if turn out to be insulting beard later on, they just give a very bad name to the religion they adhere to. Either walk the talk, or just don’t embrace labels at all. Sit back and work on your character first, before decorating your appearances to pass off as the Muslim of the year.  Because I don’t think, God is going to ask anyone about the length of their beards on the day of judgement but about the values and ethics. Did you murder anyone? Did you tease sweetest Pari when she was going to work? Did you!!??

Yeah. Questions like that.

Nobody’s perfect I know. But it doesn’t give these men the right to go ahead and see women as objects. It’s not about feminism, It’s about humanism. Respect. And Identity. 

Thank you.

P.S. Other Men with any style of beard, possessing good manners and respect for women, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for your sophistication and class. You have high standards, and therefore, you all are safe from my anger. Breathe in peace.

  • Mr…. Lorenzo

    Even those who are trying to have good behaviors and good manners as Prophet But keep Beards Because Prophet have had , I would say they are very stupid … I believe if prophet was alive at the moment he had a clean shaven face .

    • Khanum

      That’s the thing. When we love someone we do little things naturally as they do. It’s a part of honoring the person. But when it comes to today’s men, I really don’t know if they are true in their intention or not and to be honest , I really don’t care. we all shudn’t care that if its for fashion or Prophet.Life is bigger than making beard an issue. It’s that person’s personal choice. But if somebody would use it as an advantage or power to show he’s great cos he got sunnah beard and then do something shady. I’m mad.

      To a certain degree I agree with u, because keeping a beard isn’t compulsory and its not like God wouldn’t love somebody more if he’s clean shaved. But on the other hand, there may be people who are good n want to keep beard exactly the way Prophet pbuh did because they want to feel close to him. But again I feel bit strange, because then Prophet pbuh had a very simple life. Would these men also have a simple life like that, too? And not eat in Golden pots?

      I don’t know. It’s really upto them. But personally yeah, the reason I find (in current times) and all times for men to have beards is that it’s seen as a mark of manhood. I read it at some website in following words.

      “throughout history the Jews have honored the beard as a badge of manhood. To this day, the orthodox Jews have little respect for clean-shaven men. ” http://www.irfi.org/articles/articles_201_250/growing_beard_is_it_mandatory_in_islam.htm

      The part where even Jews view clean shaven men as not men, is the part that makes me question this thinking the most. It’s a biased thought maybe. As another site said, “If a person does not grow a beard or if he shaves his beard, no judgment against him is given. It will be appropriate to act in accordance with the environment one lives in.” Because even if it’s sunnah, its a customary sunnah, Like eating, drinking, sleeping I believe.

      Phew! I replied in detail, cos I like to research and share. Cheers

      • Mr …. Lorenzo

        Im not agree with this part still :
        there may be people who are good n want to keep beard exactly the way Prophet pbuh did because they want to feel close to him

        !!!!!!!!!!!
        Close to him by keeping beards as Prophet had ! Seriously ? They must do a big research what else prophet could have … Long hair ? what was the color of his clothes ? what about rings he used ? how many moles he had on his body ? He had shoes or slippers usually ? Oh what about under wears ???? most of people in this country don’t wear under wears oh I’m sorry but they are not close to prophet .

  • This is why I feel sad that the men from our country behave in such a way that it makes me ashamed to call them my brother in Islam. I can be on the streets of Pakistan, head-to-toe scarf and burqa with nothing showing and men still leer at me. I can be in the streets of London in the same outfit, and desi men still leer at me. So, it does not matter where you are, men who have that mentality will always have it, it will only take the actions of another, strong man to make them change their ways.