25, single. But instead of wanting a life partner, I am dying to have a sister.
I woke up with a very heavy heart today. An idea made me restless. You know when a thought just seeps into your head slowly , during the last hours of the night and when it’s near dawn, it grows louder that when your eyes open, that thought has already done its damage, it has left its imprint on your sleeping memory to haunt you for the rest of your day.
I want a sister.
This thought has been growing ever more loud lately. Almost everyday I see someone’s status on facebook that describes the joy of having a partner in crime and I die a little in heart, almost everyday.
“Having fun with sister at so and so shopping mall”
“Great sisters dine out night”
“Wohoo! Eating ice cream with my sister”
And one even went like, “Enjoying pinacolada after a long time with my sister. what a great life”.
I feel envious. No, perhaps, envy is the wrong emotion to word. What I feel is much more honest and deep. I feel heart broken. Empty. Alone. As if I’ve been denied the greatest blessings in the world. May Allah forgive me for feeling that way.
I have many people who say Im their sister. One special person is this great blogger on WordPress and treats me with much respect. I am humbled and grateful but a certain situation comes when this is not enough you know? There are limitations in this relation. When you don’t have real siblings, certain formalities do exist among people you call siblings. I remember there was this girl, a daughter of my mother’s friend. We became real close. Twins. Sisters. But One day, as Allah willed, It ended badly. Her real siblings came first. I came, not even second.
Then a time comes when one by one, even cousins disappear from your life. Like this younger cousin brother I dearly adore.
There was a time when he couldn’t stay apart from me. But then the inevitable happened. He became a young man. Went to University and now its no longer cool to hangout with his so called sister anymore. I would say to people, Hey, meet my brother. But I am referred to as a cousin, not as a sister when introduced among his friends. If introduced that is.
What does it teach me? It teaches me reality. I’m grown up enough to accept that I am in fact , a single child. No chance of having a sibling now. Or complaint about it at home.
So I try to satisfy myself saying Alhamdulillah, and thinking the worst things that could happen if I did have a sister. She could murder me perhaps? Or perhaps Allah saved me from some great trial this way.
That’s why many people I meet, almost immediately cry out on this desire of mine. Because they are tired of their siblings. This always amazes me. How can someone get tired of their own sibling ? You can always kill each other. But tired? This sweet bond if nourished with utmost love can do wonders for your better life. For instance, If I had a sister,
1- I could hangout with her anytime I wanted. No need to depend on friends, cousins, people.
2- I could explore my city with her and achieve many of my dreams
3- I could blame every mistake of mine on her easily and get away with it. Now everything I do, mom already knows I did it as am her only child.
4- I could exchange clothes with her anytime I wanted.
5- Ohhh! I could get to play make-over game which sisters usually play with eachother. Amazing.
The honest point is, If anyone gave me 100 reasons to not wish for a sister, I could give them back 101 reasons to have one. A sibling is a blessing. So be grafetul while you have one.
Having her means you have a personal friend cum slave whom you can depend upon anytime and say, I hate you? Let’s do something? Let’s travel. Let’s explore, Let’s see all the wonders and fill colors in this dreary world. Let’s gossip? Let’s annoy mum? Let’s fight. Let’s find happiness in our lives.
That’s how I imagine it to be, while in pursuit of a sister… my impossible dream