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In pursuit of a Sister

25, single. But instead of wanting a life partner, I am dying to have a sister.

I woke up with a very heavy heart today. An idea made me restless. You know when a thought just seeps into your head slowly , during the last hours of the night and when it’s near dawn, it grows louder that when your eyes open, that thought has already done its damage, it has left its imprint on your sleeping memory to haunt you for the rest of your day.

I want a sister.

This thought has been growing ever more loud lately. Almost everyday I see someone’s status on facebook that describes the joy of having a partner in crime and I die a little in heart, almost everyday.

“Having fun with sister at so and so shopping mall”

“Great sisters dine out night”

“Wohoo! Eating ice cream with my sister”

And one even went like, “Enjoying pinacolada after a long time with my sister. what a great life”. 

I feel envious. No, perhaps, envy is the wrong emotion to word. What I feel is much more honest and deep. I feel heart broken. Empty. Alone. As if I’ve been denied the greatest blessings in the world. May Allah forgive me for feeling that way.

I have many people who say Im their sister. One special person is this great blogger on WordPress and treats me with much respect. I am humbled and grateful but a certain situation comes when this is not enough you know? There are limitations in this relation. When you don’t have real siblings, certain formalities do exist among people you call siblings. I remember there was this girl, a daughter of my mother’s friend. We became real close. Twins. Sisters. But One day, as Allah willed, It ended badly. Her real siblings came first. I came, not even second.

Then a time comes when one by one, even cousins disappear from your life. Like this younger cousin brother I dearly adore.

There was a time when he couldn’t stay apart from me. But then the inevitable happened. He became a young man. Went to University and now its no longer cool to hangout with his so called sister anymore. I would say to people, Hey, meet my brother. But I am referred to as a cousin, not as a sister when introduced among his friends.  If introduced that is.

What does it teach me? It teaches me reality. I’m grown up enough to accept that I am in fact , a single child. No chance of having a sibling now. Or complaint about it at home.

So I try to satisfy myself saying Alhamdulillah, and thinking the worst things that could happen if I did have a sister. She could murder me perhaps? Or perhaps Allah saved me from some great trial this way.

That’s why many people I meet, almost immediately cry out on this desire of mine. Because they are tired of their siblings. This always amazes me. How can someone get tired of their own sibling ? You can always kill each other. But tired? This sweet bond if nourished with utmost love can do wonders for your better life. For instance, If I had a sister,

1- I could hangout with her anytime I wanted. No need to depend on friends, cousins, people.

2- I could explore my city with her and achieve many of my dreams

3- I could blame every mistake of mine on her easily and get away with it. Now everything I do, mom already knows I did it as am her only child.

4- I could exchange clothes with her anytime I wanted.

5- Ohhh! I could get to play make-over game which sisters usually play with eachother. Amazing.

The honest point is, If anyone gave me 100 reasons to not wish for a sister, I could give them back 101 reasons to have one. A sibling is a blessing. So be grafetul while you have one.

Having her means you have a personal friend cum slave whom you can depend upon anytime and say, I hate you? Let’s do something? Let’s travel. Let’s explore, Let’s see all the wonders and fill colors in this dreary world. Let’s gossip? Let’s annoy mum? Let’s fight.  Let’s find happiness in our lives.

That’s how I imagine it to be, while in pursuit of a sister… my impossible dream

 

  • Banaat-E-Hawwa

    We humans always seek for what we don’t have or what we can’t get. Reading your post makes me realize Allah is really really the best planner.

    What you said about how can siblings be enemies? Unfortunately we’re living in the age close to the last hour , and one of the signs of which is that people with hug their friends but will run away from their parents and their own blood.
    This is may be that the signs are appearing. You yearn for a sister because you don’t have one. All the people i know , i don’t know even single who is enjoying their life with their sisters like you have wished to in your post. It is because the social networking has brought us far far away. We are with the people we actually are not. And we are not with the people we really are. So enjoying real things , real relationships have become a dream now, or atleast a hard task.

    Allah has His own best plans. You are kept away of the questions about the huqooq you’d have of the sister on the day of judgment. You are kept away from the miseries that sometimes blood relationships cause.

    So i would better say , feel blessed feel happy for whatever you are. The best relationship is not the one that is of blood, it is the one which is built in the name of Allah. For the sake of Allah relationships. They are the only ones that never give pain. And give the real pleasure.

    Pleasure to call you My sister 🙂 At least you are my sister in Deen.

    P.S
    Is that br.Farhan you’re talking about? Your cousin?

    • Khanum

      You’re right, Allah definitely did the right thing when He decided not to give me a sister. This is what I also concluded in the post that perhaps she would have murdered me. Haha.

      Thanks for stopping by and your comments. 🙂

      P.S. No, I am talking about someone else, the name is mentioned in the post.