In the Name of Allah the Most Merciful and my Ever Living source of Light.
“I was trying to communicate with my mother with my hand gestures and sign language. She was having difficulty understanding the things I said as usual, so she told me to stop and wait for awhile till we were back at home.
I could not help but sit silently.
I had no balance in my cell which meant I couldn’t even text her and describe what I wanted.
“Excuse me” A voice so supple said to me. I looked up and asked….with my eyes. “Yes?”
“Can I sit with you?.”
I said.”Yes” with my eyes again.
I moved a bit on the side to give the woman some space to be seated.
Few minutes passed and I realized not only the woman I gave the seat to, rather all the women in the waiting lounge had their eyes on me and my hand gestures. I should have become used to it by now but still it made me a bit uncomfortable. Such pity there was in their eyes, I could easily read it but do nothing except pass a faint smile.
By the time the clock ticked out more few minutes, My mother and i were back to our former discussion over my day activities and I once again tried to explain to her the words I could not mouth.
“I got back from work around 3 today. And you were asleep” I did some hand actions. “So after having lunch I also went to bed.”
“Okay okay…but you have to take a leave for tomorrow.”
“No. i can’t” I said back. And thanked God she was getting what I meant.
There was kindness in my mother’s eyes over the things i was telling her by signs. And I could understand that pity but what i did not get was the reaction of other women – staring at me and saying – tsk tsk.
Khair, my deaf and dumb routine continued. and when the woman next to me no longer could take it, she finally passed her condolences to my mother – over my condition.
She thought I was deaf and dumb.
Mum thought it was hilarious.
And I think, I have been really a laughing stock over the past few days for everyone around me, yet it wasn’t bad enough.
‘Temporary Voice Loss’ was all that i was sufering from. I had been wearing ‘Cannot speak’ tag at my work place. Yes, people did pass a laugh or two over it but gradually everyone around me became to somehow learn a lesson from this ‘temporary loss’ of mine and bring me comfort. For a start, they paid more attention to my silence. For a change, even i PAID more attention to my own silence. I remember a senior colleague passing a comment, ‘Miss pervisha aj bohat sukoon mai lag rahi hain’.
Then , secondly, as i wasn’t speaking at all, colleagues at work didnt come to me for gossip.
Heaven!!! I was saved from evil talk. El hamdulillah.
Thirdly, the absence of voice from natural sounbox …really gave a whole new perspective on its proper usage. SubhanAllah! El Hamdulillah! Allahu Akbar.
Few days back, Nisaar.Y.Nadiadwala , An Islamic scholar , was not well. He excused himself from the facebook for awhile and when he returned, we were rewarded with a thoughtful note from his side. His musings were of excellent quality. Musings on life and the blessing of health after sickness.
My sickness may not be of that major type to inspire me with such great thoughts from within. Seriously… It was just a vocal cords infectiion, nothing to dance about. And I would have regained health just like that without realising why I got sick in the first place – But you know Allah…He has His ways of showing us where we are and where in reality, He wants us to be.
el hamdulillah, I did get to see a brighter side, a lesson from this illness. And this is what He wanted me to see.
I regained my voice yesterday evening , it was really something like a celebration for my mother. She missed hearing my voice aftr all. I missed my very personal soundbox too. Let’s hope I don’t loose it again. Amen!